Grind
by One Without a Name
Summary: Maybe if I close my eyes tight enough, everything will dissapear. [Zemyx] [Discontinued due to disintrest]
1. Crash and Burn

A/C: I took this story down for a while for revision then realized that there isn't much I can do without completely rewriting the entire story, which I don't have the time or patience to do. I made some minimal changes to the first several chapters, but to those who are farmiliar with it I don't think it's worth rereading to find.

I promised I'd put up the next two chapters when I re-uploaded the story, but I'm about halfway through chapter 10. I'll have it finished by the weekend, hopefully, but I suck at. y'know. Not sucking.

Also, there are some fanarts at the bottom of my profile. Mostly stuff drawn by me, but still...

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Mr. Xemnas was talking, which inevitably means no one was listening. Demyx was one of those people. He sat, cheek squished ruthlessly against his palm, waiting for the ecstatic ring of the dismissal bell to bring him back to life. Mr. Xemnas was reminding them of a test monday, the words bouncing off the dirty brunette's dirty brunette hair. Of course, just as the teacher was beginning to end his speech the bell rang, half the class fled before he could dismiss them. Demyx was not one of these. Xigbar poked him with a pencil in between stuffing his backpack with a binder, two textbooks and several tons of loose papers. "Ah, Mister Mulligan. I'd like to see you after class."

With a glance at the one who spoke, Mr. Xemnas, and noting that he wasn't being spoken to, Demyx stood and shoved the contents of his desk into his book bag. Xigbar stood up and kicked his chair leg towards the desk in unison with Demyx, and headed to the door without waiting for his friend. "Hey, Xig, wait up!" Demyx called, stopping at the teacher's desk to pick up two skateboards located beside it. Quickening his pace, he met his friend at the door and handing him one of the boards.

"Not my fault you're so damn slow." Xigbar snorted, making his way down the hall. Demyx considered running after, him, but began to walk in slow motion just for spite. Behind him, Xemnas closed to door and heard a soft click as it was locked. Just what was he planning on doing in there? Wasn't there still a student in there? Overtaken by curiosity, he stopped. There were no windows save for one on the door, which was tall. Across the room from the door was Mr. Xemnas' desk and another window. They thought they were so damn clever by hiding from the window, but Demyx could see a reflection in the second window across the room.

He wasn't exactly sure what he saw, and prayed it was a trick of the light. He had to try with all his might not to puke. Inside, was a boy in his class. Zexion something-or-other, real recluse. He never talked to anybody, and Demyx always figured he was a nerd. But he was in Summer School, along with Demyx and Xigbar. So if he didn't study and didn't have friends, what the hell did he do in his free time?

Get groped by old people, apparently. Zexion stood there, staring at the ground. Mr. Xemnas was behind him, one hand working at Zexion's pants zipper. Slowly, as if in a trance, the boy's head lifted up. There was no way Demyx could have been seen. But then how and why did the boy's reflection seem to dig into his very soul? The skater felt something spark--he saw something in the younger's eyes. Fear, perhaps. With calmness that surprised even himself, he knocked timidly on the door. There was a scuffling and a curse before the lock clicked and the door opened. Mr. Xemnas stood there, and Demyx almost believed that what he saw had not been real. Until he looked behind him, Zexion in the same position, with the same eyes boring into his skull.

"I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class today." Demyx said with a broad smile.

"I am in the middle of a tutoring session-"

"You teach enlgish, not sex ed." Demyx informed the old goat with a smirk. "Besides, me and Zexion are going somewhere. Right Zexy?" Xemnas and Demyx both looked at him expectantly. Slowly, Zexion nodded, almost in a trance. "Great! Let's go, Zexy!" Pushing past their teacher, he grabbed Zexion's hand and led him out of the room. Mr. Xemnas was still frigid from the 'sex ed' comment, and made no move to stop them. Demyx ran down the hall with Zexion in tow, turned a corner, and stopped. "What the fuck, man?"

"...That had nothing to do with you."

"Doesn't mean I can't butt in." Demyx pointed out, walking with Zexion towards the outer door. His fingers twitched to put the skateboard down and ride, but even in summer school that was against the rules. Zexion didn't answer, until they left the air-conditioned building into the blazing June heat. Oh, joy.

"Thanks." He said, his voice firm. Turning, he walked off towards the road. Demyx blinked in confusion. He wasn't experienced with this kind of thing, but he figured if he just saved someone from being raped then a little more conversation would take place. Setting down his board, he kicked off from the sidewalk and dumbly followed Zexion. It occured to him then that Zexion was the one Mr. Xemnas asked to stay after class. Zexion Mulligan.

"Hey! Hey, dude!" Xigbar called from a tree by the side of the road. It was still on school grounds, he must have been waiting for Demyx. Raising a hand, he gave Zexion a wave and a half hearted 'see ya!' before skating over to his friend. Xigbar wasn't a bad guy, but ask anyone and they'll tell you that Xigbar Bullet does not know when to quit. He didn't quit when he messed up a kickflip and the board broke his jaw, giving him a rather nasty scar on his cheek. He didn't quit when he ollied into a pole, he can barely see out of his left eye because of that. He did quit however, when his mother took his board and made him promise to never skate again.

But hey. Promises were made to be broken.

"So whats up with you hanging out with little boy sunshine over there?" Xigbar asked sarcastically, barely trying to cover the disdain in his eyes as he skated backwards.

"Turn around, fucktard." Demyx laughed, giving his friend a push. "What are you, jelous?"

"You never know, man. You've got a nice ass..." His board slowed and he fell behind Demyx, tilting his head to the side. Demyx knew he was teasing, but he also knew that Xigbar was the biggest cockmuncher at South High. Everyone knew, especially since two days ago he and Marluxia were practically inseparable. Wait, no, Marluxia was the biggest cockmuncher at South High. He was co-captain of the Cheerleading squad for fuck's sake! But they broke up, mostly because Xigbar was getting shit for it.

"You ride ahead of me." Demyx stopped his board and looked back at his friend. Xigbar just laughed.

"But, really, dude, what's with you and that little ball of emo?" Xigbar asked as they turned the corner to the back of the local grocery store. They did most of their skating here, because there weren't many security guards here. Demyx didn't answer, instead he ollied onto the hill behind the store. Stopping his board, he sat down in the grass. Xigbar stopped in front of him and looked down at the brunette. "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine. It's just hot as shit out here." Xigbar nodded, accepting that. He kicked off and out of sight, Demyx really didn't care. Xigbar didn't skate much since he hurt his eye, he never really did tricks anymore. Just skated around, but no one but Demyx really knew that. Since the incident a year ago, Xigbar was actually more in to surfing. They lived a ways from a beach, so they didn't do it often, but he told Demyx he liked it better that skateboarding. Demyx had hit him for saying that.

"I was just walking with him." Demyx called out after a moment, not sure if Xigbar could hear him and was too lazy to check. "He's weird."

"Not one for pillow talk, eh?" Xigbar sneered, sitting down in the grass by Demyx' feet. Demyx almost smiled at the irony, but restrained himself.

"I bet you were with your widdle Marwly." Demyx tore a handful of grass from the earth and tossed it at Xigbar. Sitting up, he tucked strands of hair behind his ears. "Goddamnit, the head is frying my brain."

"I figured that happened years ago."

"Screw you. I'm gonna go home. We have a test tomorrow or something, right?"

"Why don't you come over for dinner?"

"Doesn't your mom hate me, or something?"

"She thinks you're a bad influence." Xigbar explains.

"Yeah… she hates me." Shrugging, Demyx stood and grabbed his board, dusting grass off his jeans with one hand.

"Wait!" Demyx stopped, giving his friend a glance

"Yeah? What?"

"Y-you know Luxord? Luxord Cromwell?" Demyx grinned wildly, he saw that look in Xigbar's eyes. The man was blushing, tearing the same blade of grass into itty bitty pieces. But Demyx figured that his friend wouldn't date for a while, at least until the rainbow jokes lessened slightly.

"Yah isn't he soooo dreamy?" Demyx mocked in his best prissy voice, waving limp-wristed to Xigbar.

"…Forget it."

"I'm kidding, dude. I'm sure he's a monster in the sack—"

"I'm leaving."


	2. Washing the wounds

Old Grind chapters were really short o3o

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"Mr. Bullet, I do hope you've completed your test…" Xemnas trailed off, one hand leaning on the surfer's desk. Xigbar was frantically scribbling down answers when Xemnas snatched the paper rather nastily. Demyx, who had finished his test twenty minutes ago, snickered a little. "Now, class, I hope you've done well on your tests." He looked annoyed by something, like he was waiting. Demyx had an inkling of what. Stealing a glance at Zexion, his deadpan eyes confirmed it. Another little "tutoring" session… the bell was due to ring any minute.

Speak of the devil, it rung just moments after that thought crossed his mind. Hastily shoving random things into his book bag with reckless abandon, his eyes switched from his teacher to his new 'friend', searching for a change of face. Demyx smiled, an idea was formulating in that peanut brain of his.

"So, Zexion, you ready for today?" He asked casually, picking up the two skateboards from their usual stop by Mr. Xemnas' desk. His parents had put in a special request that he be allowed to have it, because he always skated home. It was allowed as long as it was kept away from him until the end of school. Zexion looked up, quickly hiding the bewilderment on his face.

"No, he is not." Mr. Xemnas stepped in. "He has specifically requested tutoring…"

"I can teach him." Demyx shrugged, shifting Xigbar's board to his left hand. Zexion's face was calm, as it always was, but the skater could sense panic in the way his eyes darted from the teacher to Demyx.

"Your grades—"

"--Are the best in the class." Demyx finished, trying in vain to make his voice casual. It took a stern, cold tone that he saved for when something or someone bothered him.

"Yeah!" Xigbar called, from the doorway. He was standing, back against the door, watching the three. Mr. Xemnas seemed thrown off by this, and Xigbar continued. "My grades have improved since Demyx started helping me."

"I am more than capable—!" Mr. Xemnas tried to begin, but was cut off once again.

"I want them… to teach me." Zexion said quietly, his voice almost hoarse. All eyes turned to him. His cheeks were the faintest of red, his eyes boring a hole into the floor. Demyx was on it in an instant.

"See? He wants us to!" Demyx hooked his arm around Zexion's neck, pulling him so their cheeks were touching. He laughed, and Zexion looked horrified. "You're outvoted, Mansex!" Mr. Xemnas' eyes widened as Demyx spoke the name.

Demyx pulled his arm away from Zexion carefully, as not to hit him with the skateboard in hand. He made his way to the door, handing Xigbar his board and turning around. "Well? Zexy? You coming?"

Eyes lifting finally from the floor, he blurted. "Y-yes!" Surprisingly quickly for such a small boy, he weaved in and out of the desks and stood by Demyx' side.

"Hah, see ya later Mansex!"

-----

"He's gonna be on your ass about the Mansex thing Monday, you know." Xigbar said, sticking several fries into his mouth at once. By now they had left the school and stopped at McGeneric Burger's for some lunch. Summer School ends at noon, so they had the rest of the day to do whatever they pleased. There wasn't school on Fridays either, so the trio wouldn't see Mansex until Monday.

"Yeah, but I got some dirt on him you wouldn't believe." Zexion visibly twitched when Demyx spoke. The smaller boy had declined food, and gotten a small lemonade, which he was sipping sparingly. Demyx had ordered a hamburger, completely plain save for the bun and beef and had already chugged his Coke.

"Like what?" Zexion twitched again.

"Can't tell you." Demyx winked at Xigbar before tipping back his head and swallowing the last few droplets of his drink. "It'sa seeeecret."

"Whatev- oh, god…" Xigbar sat perfectly still, his pupils the only thing moving. They followed a figure, that had entered the building only seconds ago. Demyx turned his head and suddenly was overtaken by snorts and giggles. Zexion blinked and looked at the newcomer, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. It was a boy in their class, Luxord Cromwell. "Shut up!" Xigbar hissed, shoving Demyx's shoulder.

"Calm down." Demyx opened one eye, previously clamped shut from laughing. "What's the worst that could happen…?" As he said that however, Luxord's head turned in their direction.

"Hallo, Demyx, isn't it? An' Xigba'? An' you, I don't seem to recall your name…" Luxord's accent was so horribly British… Demyx could hear the words, but he had no idea what the hell he was saying. Xigbar however, seemed to understand perfectly.

"That's Zexion, he's a friend of our's. He's in our class, too." He gushed, smiling brightly to Luxord. Demyx once more attempted in vain to stifle his laughter, and received a firm kick to the shin for it.

"Bugger." Luxord said, running a hand through his short hair. Zexion was looking away as usual, Demyx was poking Xigbar's leg under the table and Xigbar was smiling with everything he had. "I really should pay more attention… Well, I must be on my way. Cheerio!"

"Pip pip!" Demyx called after him as he took his food from the counter and left the building, earning him a punch in the shoulder by his friend. "What? I was trying to connect!"

"Shut up, man. Let's just go." Demyx shrugged at the statement and stood up, grabbing his board. Zexion followed suit, and Xigbar did the same. They left, not even bothering to throw their trash away. Cuz they're rebels.

---

"So… are we going to be doing any actual studying?" Zexion inquired, sitting on the side of the hill behind Generic Mart. Demyx stopped his board and looked up at him, as if he said something completely retarded. After a moment he realized that Zexion was being serious, and shook his head.

"We are, but I figured we could wait…"

Zexion pulled something out of his pocket, a horribly crumpled piece of paper. Unfolding it and attempting to flatten it on his jeans, he handed it to Demyx. He smiled in spite of himself, fairly unfitting for the 35 written at the top of the test paper in large, red letters. It was the test they had taken last week. His smiled faded when he saw a note, written under the grade.

_See me after class._

"How long…?" Demyx asked softly, looking up at Zexion. He cringed, again, at the mention of what had happened.

"I..."

Awkward silence ensued.

"Y'know what I do when I'm down?" Demyx perked up, tossing the paper behind them. Standing, he motioned for Zexion to do they same. "I skate. The wind, the freedom… you've got to try it."

"I don't skate."

"You do now. Get up." Zexion obeyed, and climbed to his feet. Demyx set his board on the ground and motioned for Zexion to get on.

"But… what If I fall…?"

"I'll hold the board." Zexion hesitated, and then stepped onto it. "Balance yourself…" When Zexion's feet were place firmly on the board, Demyx slowly began to remove his hands from the grip tape. "See? You wont fall. Now try to move."

"H-how…?"

"Kick off with one foot. Slowly, okay?" Demyx felt like a kindergarten teacher as he watched Zexion's foot slowly touch the ground, giving the smallest push sending him barely two inches forward. He was still shaking, "Calm down… Here." Grabbing Zexion's wrist, he led him forward as slowly as possible. He ignoring the laughter he knew was Xigbar's, and the sound of his board stopping.

"He's blushing! And you call me a faggot." He said with a laugh. Demyx paid no mind, but Zexion did. A new wave of red hit his face as he lost his balance and stumbled forward… right into Demyx. Demyx, having turned around moments before to tell Xigbar off, grabbed the boy in his arms before he hit the ground. For once in his life, Zexion looked up. He met Demyx' gaze, and quickly pushed away.

"You okay?" Demyx asked. Zexion stumbled again, but regained his balance quickly.

"I… I'm fine… it's just…" Zexion looked away, once again. "I didn't… think anyone knew…"


	3. Fresh scars

A/N: I'm watching the numbers of words climb stedily as I get to the latest chapters...

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School could not end fast enough. They weren't even doing anything, just watching bits and pieces of the movie Count of Monte Cristo. Blah blah blah, some guy is sent to jail, blah blah blah, he busts out, blah blah blah, he kills some people. Who cares? Mr. Xemnas, apparently. Still seven minutes to go, before they could leave... This sucked so much. Demyx had wanted to talk to Zexion, but the younger boy seemed to be avoiding him.

Pulling out a piece of used lose-leaf, he scribbled three words onto the back of it and folded it. He stood and walked to the back of the class, turning at Zexion's desk and walking to Xemnas'. "Can I go to the bathroom?" He asked sweetly.

"No." Xemnas passed him a stern look. "Not until school is over." Shrugging off the cruelty, Demyx walked back to his seat. As he passed Zexion's desk, he shoved the note haphazardly into the boy's lap.

Demyx didn't look back as Zexion gave him an astonished look, which he quickly covered. Unfurling the over-folded note his eyes rested on the words written quickly across the margin.

_Are you okay?_

Zexion's nose twitched, a habit saved for when he was annoyed. When he used to wear glasses, he would scrunch his nose to push his glasses up, by now it was simply a reflex. Replacing the paper on his desk, he began to write.

"Now, now, Mr. Mulligan." Mr. Xemnas had appeared out of nowhere, reaching over Zexion's shoulder and taking the note. "Note passing is indeed against school rules. See me after class."

In the front row, Demyx fell into a coughing fit. It was interrupted by a loud, crackly voice coming over the intercom.

"Teachers, please wrap up for the afternoon announcements…" Mr. Saix, the assistant principal, droned. Demyx forced himself to stop coughing and look back at Zexion. Mr. Xemnas was still there, a dark smirk plastered on his face. Behind him, Xigbar poked him in the back of the head.

"Dude, you okay?" He asked, having already packed his things. Dumbly, Demyx nodded and did the same.

"You may be dismissed." Mr. Xemnas told them with a wave of his hand. Most of the students were already gone by the time he finished his sentence. Demyx forced himself to stand, turn around, and walk to Zexion's desk.

"I…I'll be… waiting." Demyx said softly, feeling the bile rise in his throat.

"Don't." Zexion whispered softly, eyes boring into his desk. "You're not… I'm…" He shook his head. "Just go."

"Yes, please go. I need to speak with Mr. Mulligan alone…"

"Yo, Demyx, come on!" Xigbar was at the doorway, holding their skateboards. "We don't got all day!"

"…Right. Of course." Nodding stiffly, Demyx made his way to the door. Seeing he was making an effort, Xigbar turned around and started walking ahead of him. The door closed behind him, and a faint _click_ was heard. He stopped. Xigbar had rounded a corner and was now out of sight.

Turning back to the door, he inspected the window. Last time he could see only the reflection, but the blinds were closed now… Gripping the side of the doorframe tightly, he planted one foot firmly on the side of the locker by the door. Jumping with his other foot, he rested his knee on the windowsill. From there we more or less jumped on top of the locker, peering in through the window.

He could see Zexion's feet, right at the edge of the window. He couldn't see Mr. Xemnas, but he had a clue as to where he is. He could bits and pieces of their conversation through the thin window glass.

"You've been bad, you know." Mr. Xemnas' tone was unlike anything Demyx had ever heard. Seducing, dark, overpowering… it made the skater shiver.

"I know."

"You shouldn't have run off with that little skater."

"I know."

"He can't save you, you know." Demyx could hear the absolute glee in the tormentor's voice. Once again he could feel bile in his throat.

"I know."

"You shouldn't pretend that you'll ever be free. It only makes it hurt more when I pull you back…" Zexion didn't answer, and he continued. "Do you want to know why? Because you're mine. Your tears are mine. Don't confuse yourself into thinking he can take you away from me."

"I- I underst-stand…" Zexion answered thickly, getting to his feet. Demyx jumped off the lockers and ran. He didn't stop running until he was outside, hit by a wall of heat when he left the building.

"So where's Zexion?" Xigbar was sitting, back leaned against the brick wall. He rolled Demyx' skateboard towards him, and he planted a foot on it.

"I don't…" He stopped when he saw Zexion step outside. "Speak of the devil. Zexion, are you okay?"

"Don't… just leave me alone." Zexion didn't stop; he passed Demyx without even looking at him. He stopped and coughed rather loudly into his hands, sweat lining his forehead. Demyx grabbed Zexion's shoulder to refuse, until he saw Zexion's hands.

What he coughed up. White. Zexion tilted his head back to look a Demyx, and the skater saw a small trail of white stuff fall from his lips. The boy's eyes looked like he wanted to cry. "Hey, what's going on… oh, shit."? Xigbar stopped when he saw Zexion's hands. "Oh, god, Demyx, don't tell me…"

"I didn't do it!" Demyx practically shrieked, throwing his hands up and walking several steps away from the two. Then, in a much lower voice, "…it was Mr. Xemnas…"

"…_Fuck_." Xigbar swore in a voice that sounded more appropriate for a 'wow.' Zexion still wasn't looking at them.

"Just go. Please." Zexion was begging now.

"No." Demyx growled, "You're our friend. You can't act like you never met us, no matter what he told you. You mean something to us, and we mean something to you. It's too late to change that."

"I don't care." Zexion began to start walking again, this time faster. He was already about seven feet away when Demyx grabbed his board and kicked off. He ollied off the sidewalk and onto the parking lot, with the intent of following Zexion.

He did not intent for two of his wheels, front and back on the left side, to fly off at top speed. But they did so, destroying his balance. Despite this, he landed and the board practically screamed as the bare metal scraped against the concrete. Loosing his balance completey, he was thrown off the board, landing roughly on his shoulder.

The shoulder of his sleeve was completely torn, blood flowing freely from the gash on it. Xigbar cried out, running after his friend. He let out a string of curses and frantically searched in his book bag for his cell phone, which he found moments later. Zexion turned around, fully taken aback at the injury. Demyx had lost consciousness; he noted wile rolling him over. He reached into his bag and pulled out several sterile wipes wrapped in a plastic container.

"H-how do you have those…?" Xigbar glanced at him, waiting for the phone to be picked up.

"Being abused, it comes with the territory." Zexion said simply, attempting to clean the wound. Which was hard to do when it was bleeding everywhere. He heard the click on the phone being connected and Xigbar began to babble into it.

"It's my friend, his skateboard broke and his arm is hurt really bad… he's bleeding… please… yes. His right shoulder, it's all torn up… gravel. He fell on the road. Yes. Thank you." The phone was snapped shut and set on the ground. "They're sending an ambulance."

"Great." Zexion sighed, "You wouldn't happen to have any bandages…?"

"No."

"Um… your bandanna…" Zexion said meekly, looking up at him. Xigbar wore a piece of cloth wrapped around his head, pulled over his left eye. He hesitated, and then pulled the black cloth from his head. Taking it without even looking, two of the sterile pads were placed over the wound and the bandanna tied tightly around his arm.

"nngh…"

"He's regained consciousness!" Zexion exclaimed in out of character shock. It was true; he was beginning to groan softly. His eyes didn't even open before he let out a loud yelp.

"F-f-fuck…! What the… nrg…" He was trying his hardest not to scream, his eyes snapping open. "Don't… don't fucking…" His words were drowned out by the sound of an ambulance turning the corner.

"Shh." Xigbar reassured him, "The ambulance is here."

Out of the corner of his eye, Demyx could see Mr. Xemnas in the doorway of the school just before fading into unconsciousness.


	4. Pain, pain, go away

A/N: Read chapter 9 and 10 while listening to "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson. I less than three it.

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"Are you his friends?" The nurse-a-nator asked Xigbar and Zexion as her partner tended to Demyx. She had an average build, with short cut blonde hair and two locks of hair that stuck nearly straight up. If Demyx weren't bleeding profusely, Xigbar probably would have laughed.

"Yes." Xigbar said, elbowing Zexion before he could deny it. The other boy nodded then, holding back another cough. He couldn't risk the nurse-a-nator seeing what he might cough up…

"How did this happen?" She wasn't looking at them, and her tone suggested that she didn't care much for them either.

"He fell off his skateboard… onto the pavement." Zexion said dumbly, an odd feeling overcoming him.

"He didn't fall." Xigbar snapped rather icily, "The skateboard broke. The wheels flew off—he stayed on for a little bit after that, but—" Zexion felt so out of place here… Demyx was never his friend. Demyx pitied him, that's the only reason they 'hung out'. Xigbar didn't like him, and Demyx probably didn't either.

"Right, right, I got it. 'Ey! Ax! You done?"

"Yes, Bugger, I'm done. Are these kids coming…?" Turning around, the nurse-a-nator's partner flashed them a look. He appeared to be kinder than his partner, but also slightly more insane. His hair was dull red and spiked back, his eyes a dazzling green.

"Hey." The one who had been called 'Bugger' flicked her wrist at the two, "Are you kids coming? We're going to take your friend to the hospital."

"Yes!" Xigbar sprang into action, grabbing his skateboard from the ground and moving to the back of the ambulance, where the redhead helped him inside.

"What about you?" Zexion stood frigid for a moment, unsure. He gulped, and shook his head. He could feel Xigbar's disdainful look as he turned away and began to walk along the sidewalk.

Without even thinking about it, he coughed. He remembered at the last moment and covered his mouth, planning to turn the corner and clean himself. The nurse-a-nator grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped the small bit off his face and hands, and pressed something into his palm. Turning without a word, she climbed into the truck. Zexion watched it speed away before looking at what she had handed him. A… condom…?

Demyx awoke in the ambulance. His eyes opened, glittering with pain, but he said nothing. Xigbar leaned his head over and looked at him, softly calling his name. "Demyx… man, are you okay?"

"Xigbar…?"

"Yeah?"

"Has my nose stopped bleeding?"

"What? Your nose isn't bleeding."

"Then why am I bloody?"

"Your skateboard got trashed, dude." Xigbar tried to laugh, but the notion was choked in his throat. He let out the breath he'd been holding—Demyx seemed to be okay. "You're in an ambulance."

"Oh." Demyx fell silent, which made Xigbar begin to worry again. "Wheres Zexion?" He asked finally. The ambulance had a bed secured in place by metal rods, but the redhead insisted that Demyx sit in one of the chairs instead, while he wrapped the gash on his arm.

"He stayed behind."

"_Shit."_

"Why do you care so much?" Xigbar asked with a snort, "When the ambulance came, he just… left, dude. He just kept looking at it with this weird look in his eyes. It was creepy."

"He's my friend."

"Whatever, dude." Xigbar stood up as the Redhead did so, taking Demyx's good arm.

"We're here. You can get out." Unlocking the door, he kicked it open with his foot and practically swung Demyx onto the ground. Xigbar followed the two, wondering inwardly just how this man became a nurse… doctor… whatever he was. He vaguely noticed the ambulance driving off behind them, as the redhead pulled Demyx into the hospital.

"Hey, Nex, this kid fell off his skateboard." The redhead was speaking to the woman behind the counter. She was of African decent, her hair silver with dark brown streaks and pulled into a rather spikey ponytail. "There are pieces of gravel lodged deep in there… we may have to operate…"

Demyx wasn't at school the next day. Zexion didn't really expect him to be… Xigbar was, however. He made sure to tell Zexion how they had to remove a chunk of gravel from Demyx' shoulder, and how he needed about 20 stitches. And most of all, about how much he asked for Zexion. Before Xigbar left the hospital the night before, Demyx made sure to beg him to look after Zexion. Which he did by following the younger boy everywhere he went.

"You're coming the hospital after school. My mom is going to pick me up—you're coming too." Xigbar made sure to inform him when the announcements ended. Zexion didn't move.

"Mr. Xemnas is tutoring me." Zexion said softly, not looking up.

"Look you little piece of shit," Xigbar growled, slamming his fist against the desk. "Demyx risked his ass for you. We want to help you, you stupid little fuck."

"I would most appreciate it if you didn't curse in my classroom, Mr. Bullet." Xemnas was looming behind him, eyes like daggers. Shaking his head, Xigbar slung his backpack over his shoulder and stormed out. Zexion watched as Xemnas locked the door behind Xigbar. The lights were turned off, and Xemnas was sitting in a chair in the corner of the classroom not visible from the window. "You've been a good boy, so why don't I give you a reward?"

Zexion did what he was told. He walked, slowly, to where his teacher was sitting. With shaky hands, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small circle of plastic. Motioning to Xemnas, then lowering his eyes, he spoke. "Mr… Mr Xemnas. Please…?" Mr. Xemnas scoffed and took the condom from the student's hand. Setting it on his desk, he returned his full attention to Zexion.

Zexion know what was coming

"Why would you want to use that? You're already filthy, a disgusting little thing. So why waste time trying to make you pretty? You're nobody… you can never be somebody." Zexion was shaking now, more than before. Xemnas laid his hand on Zexion's cheek softly. "But I'll protect you… because no one else will. No one else will ever love you. But I will. You are mine. Your tears are mine, your whimpers are mine, your shivers are mine… you have nothing else. You can't smile. Because you're nobody."

But it still hurt.

"You aren't _allowed_. Because you are broken. You're sick and broken and filthy, and you can never be happy. But I'll still be here. I'll care about you. Don't try to run away again… because I'm all you got."

Like a thousand knives.

"I'm all you're _allowed_ to have."

Because he wasn't good enough.

"You want to know why?"

Because he was alone

"Because I'm a good person. I'll love you, a disgusting thing like you, and yet you turn away from me. That hurts. But it only proves how disgusting you are." Hands trailed through Zexion's pale silver hair. "But I still love you. You are so lucky, you know…"

And when Xemnas was with him, when Xemnas touched him…

Zexion was almost distracted enough not to have noticed that his pants were unzipped. But he wasn't stupid, he felt the twangs of pleasure at the other man's light, teasing touches. The last thing Zexion wanted was to give him the pleasures of seeing him cry. But… no matter what, as Mr. Xemnas' hand slipped under his boxers, he could feel the sting of hot tears in his eyes.

He felt more alone than he'd ever been.

A knock at the door stopped Xemnas' wandering fingers. Snorting, Xemnas pulled his hand back and kicked Zexion towards his desk. Taking the hint, he crawled under the teacher's desk and pulled up his pants.

"Ah, Saix, what a lovely surprise…" Zexion could hear Xemnas saying…

"Xemnas, is there a particular reason you are hiding in a locked room?" Saix's voice was stern and emotionless, which made him an assistant principal to be feared. He was mocked as well, his favorite phrases often repeated in a robotic voice. Xemnas had no mercy when Saix was mocked, most people would say it was because they sleep together.

Zexion knew better, though. Saix had walked in enough times to know that he was more than a fuckbuddy to Xemnas. If he was capable of love, then Xemnas had it for Saix.

"It makes it just so much more romantic, don't you think…?" through the small gap at the bottom of the desk, Zexion could only see their feet. But Xemnas had moved closer to Saix, most likely in a kiss.

"I have a job." Saix answered, after a moment. He seemed to be tired, or just didn't really want to deal with Xemnas at the time.

"We can make it quick." Xemnas moved in once again, this time Zexion could hear the small smacking noises they made with each small kiss.

"No—!" Saix was cut off, and Zexion heard the noise of a hand scraping against the desk. Something had been picked up, and it was confirmed when Xemnas spoke again.

"I've got one," He was saying, "I got it from a student. So why not…? You never let me touch you, Saix…" Putting one and one-and-a-half together, Zexion guess what Xemnas was talking about the condom.

"I'm busy." Saix growled, a bit of his temper yielding itself in his expression. Saix was a man with brains, he knew he had to get his work done before playing around… but Xemnas still wasn't satisified.

"How about I help you?" A moment passed, and Zexion couldn't hear anything. Someone sniffed.

"…What's his name?" Saix asked softly. Xemnas took a step back. "I can smell it on your hand. Who is it?"

"I didn't—"

"It's Vexen, isn't it? It's always the science teacher…"

"Well if you'd just fuck me I wouldn't have to sleep around!" The drama continued for a moment, and Zexion did his best to block it out. He could not ignore it however when he heard something hit the desk. Looking again, someone was pushed against the desk by the other person.

"Fine, we'll do it your way…" Saix anger was rising… and Zexion felt his bile do the same.


	5. Squared

A/N: I have to make up Chapter titles all over again D: If you have any good ones, please tell me. I always make up stupid stuff.

* * *

"You're coming the hospital after school. My mom is going to pick me up—you're coming too." Xigbar was saying. He barely tried to conceal the resent for the silver-haired boy from his voice.

"Mr. Xemnas is tutoring me."

"Look you little piece of shit," Xigbar growled, slamming his fist against the desk. "Demyx risked his ass for you. We want to help you, you stupid little fuck."

"I would most appreciate it if you didn't curse in my classroom, Mr. Bullet." Xemnas was speaking now. Xigbar shook his head in resignation, and slung his backpack over his shoulder. With a final glance at the younger one, he turned and left.

"'Ello, Xigbar!" Luxord was waiting, leaning his back to the wall next to the door. "I 'eard about Demyx' little incident. Next time you see 'im, can you tell 'im I 'ope he gets better soon." Covering his blush with a cough, Xigbar spoke:

"Actually… I'm going to visit him now. You can come, if you want…"

"I'd love to!" Luxord pushed himself off the wall and made a hand gesture. "'Ey… do you hear that?" Turning towards the door, he pressed his ear against it. "I swear I can 'ear someone talkin' in there…"

"Weshouldgonowdontyouthinkhmmm?" Xigbar knew exactly what was going on behind the door. That, and the assistant principal was coming this way. Grabbing Luxord's wrist he pulled him away from the door and around the corner. "Mom's waiting for me out front, okaaay?"

"Aye, but Xig- ah!" Luxord stopped when Xigbar stopped, flinging the brit forward several steps.

"Sorry, Luxy!"

"…Luxy? Did you just say—"

"No!" Xigbar cried, berating himself for using his nickname. Straight boys didn't call their classmates 'luxy'. "It's the heat, we really should get going!" Grabbing his wrist again, Xigbar pulled his companion down the hall and out the door

"But… the school is air-conditioned…"

"So, what's the deal? You brought the English muffin along?" Xigbar had to fight hard not to punch is friend in the face. But it might not look good in front of Luxord.

"Actually, I'm from Whales…" Luxord put in, somewhat confused.

"Wait… so you're not British?"

"Whales is in Britan, dumbass! Xigbar snapped, his arm twitching violently. So easy it would be, to drive the boy's head into the bedside table…

"Oh, whatever. But it's just too bad we can't go see that movie now, huh Xigbar?" Demyx looked up at his steaming friend and winked, Xigbar not completely getting the message.

"Wha…?""

"'hat really is too bad! Xigbaw shun't go alone, 'hat's no fun!" Luxord tilted his head, as if it was some sort of great big mystery who else in the world could go with Xigbar to see a movie.

"Oh!" Xigbar, just realized that was going on, spoke up. "Luxord, you can you with… if you want, I mean. I don't want to trou-" His sentence was cut off by Demyx smacking him in the stomach.

"I'd love to come. When dos' the movie start?"

Zexion was alone. It was the kind of alone right after a friend leaves, the aftermath when you know you're just alone. It's different from before, because know you know what it's like to not be alone and you don't want to be alone ever again. But Zexion knew Demyx wasn't coming back.

That wasn't the priority, though. Zexion was going to do something a man should never have to do. Sitting on the couch in his filthy apartment, he was simply stalling with thoughts of Demyx and Xigbar.

Zexion knew the time would come. He lived alone, and only allowed to do so because he had a job and car. Delivery boy and a shoddy pickup truck, respectively. But most of his pay went into gas money anyway, therefore leaving him money for food, running water and rent—he didn't bother with heat or electricity. He has blankets, and no time for television. Besides, the only television in his apartment had a large crack in the screen.

Overtime he would collect excess money, savings and such. But any hope of spending money had been blown away with the 200$ tuition of summer school. He was in debt. That word echoed in his mind dangerously, like it was a secret threatening to reveal itself. He was going to do something he should never have to do.

He was going to ask his older brother for money.

The movie was half over. Neither had made a move, and Xigbar Bullet was absolutely terrified. Luxord was eating some popcorn. Catching Xigbar's glance, he turned to him. "What? Do I 'ave something on my face?"

"Y-yeah… here, let me get it…" Before he even knew what he was doing, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Luxord's in a quick motion. Luxord didn't move, thoroughly stunned. Xigbar sighed miserably and stood up to leave after a mumbled apology.

"Wait!" Luxord had grabbed his arm and tugged slightly. Xigbar turned to see him smile; "Did you ge' it?"

A moment passed.

Xigbar grinned, too.

"No, I think it's still there…let me try again…"

"Why what brings you here, little brother? I thought you hated my guts?" Zexion already regretted coming. Until two years ago, Zexion had lived with his brother and mother. Loz had always been the favorite, and Zexion really didn't care. Because he knew Loz's deepest secrets—that was, until he was caught with pot. Testing showed not only he was indeed on the drug and had been for some time, but he also had HIV. In court, he admitted to having a homosexual lover. Only recently had he gotten out of rehab, hooked up with his loverboy and driven their mother to suicide. Okay, so the suicide thing happened shortly after he entered rehab, but still.

"I do." Zexion snorted.

"Who is it, Loz?" Another man, of similar build, came to the doorway behind Loz. The loverboy, Zexion knew. Zexion was the only one who Loz had told of his secrets—his disease, which he knew damn well of, his homosexuality, his drugs. Zexion had even been shown a picture of Lexaeus.

"So, you need money?" Loz was good at reading people—one of the reaons Zexion hated his brother.

"Isn't that your little brother?" Lexaeus was pretty damn stupid, but that's probably why Loz fucked him.

"Do come in, little brother." Lexaeus stepped away from the door, and Loz stood to the side to allow Zexion entry. A scowl plastered on his face, he scooted into the room and took a seat on the couch.

"Lexy, why don't you get us something to drink…?" Loz gestured towards the kitchen, which Lexaeus obliged. "So? What's the deal." Loz began, when Lexaeus was out of earshot. "What do you want?"

"I need some money." Zexion grumbled miserably, feeling like a beaten dog begging it's hurtfull master for scraps.

"I was just kidding, but hell." Loz was smirking wildly. He loved seeing his brother in pain—that's the kind of person he was. "Why don't you just whore yourself, then sue the guy for rape."

"I'M NOT GAY." Zexion cried, shoving himself from the couch. "I'M NOT LIKE YOU. I'm nothing like you! I… I…" More and more, Zexion found himself alone. It was worse than anything Xemnas could ever do—with Xemnas he had something. Loz… Loz hurt people. Loz drove their mother to suicide and left his little brother to fend for himself! Loz didn't care about anyone but himself—strutting his homosexuality like it was something to be proud of.

"Fine then, sue the girl for rape." Loz rolled his eyes, leaning back into the armchair. Zexion was absolutely fuming, his top blown at his brother's next words; "That's what did it for me."

"IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Zexion was screaming as Lexaeus re-entered the room with three cans of soda. "HE DOES IT… BECAUSE…" Zexion felt the tears burning his eyes like acid, and he willed them to fall. "IF YOU HADN'T… It's all your fault…" His voice lowered to a raspy drawl, "I…" If he finished his sentence, if he told Loz what was his fault, it could be admitting that it happened. That's something Zexion never wanted to do.

Because maybe, if he closes his eyes tight enough, it will all dissapear.

Maybe it's all in his head.

He'd rather be crazy… than have Xemnas do what he does.

All because of Loz. Because Loz slept with him. Because Loz sued him for rape. Because Xemnas wanted revenge on Loz. Because Loz destroyed Xemnas.

So Xemnas destroyed Zexion.

"Here." Loz wasn't looking at him. He thrust several bills into Zexion's face, "That's all I can give you. Leave. Now." Taking the money, Zexion stood up straight and shoved the bills into his pocket. With a muttered thank you, he walked dumbly to the door, opened it, went through it, and prayed he'd never have to come back.

He wasn't going to give Loz the satisfaction of watching Zexion count the money—he was a block away, sitting at the bus stop when he finally took the money out and counted off the wrinkled bills. He had gotten to 85$ when he noticed a small note slipped in between a twenty and a ten. Pulled it out of the wad and stuffing the money once again into the pocket of his ratty jeans. On the paper was written two words:

_I'm sorry._

Zexion looked at the note for a long time. The words were plain as day, two words he'd heard so many time before. Not usually directed at him, but they've been heard. Did Loz write this…? As the bus neared where he sat, his fingers curled around the paper. He hurled it into the road seconds before the bus' tires flattened it to the ground.


	6. Lost and Found

Zexion soon found himself simply wandering, as he had done after his mother's death. No destination, no life, no hope. This fate seemed to loom over him, and he knew there was little to do then wait for it to come. Kadaj hated him, Demyx pitied him, and his own mother didn't love him enough to stay alive for God's sake. It was all about Kadaj, it had always been.

Maybe, more then anything, Zexion wanted a destination. Somewhere to go, something to work towards. He wanted to want something, something real. Something he could hold and never let go. Most of all, he wanted a purpose.

Even if his purpose was to be Xemnas' plaything, he could handle that. That fate sickened him, but what choice did he have? He was stupid to think that Demyx could change his fate, so was this punishment?

For wanting to change his fate?

For wanting to be somebody…

instead of nobody…?

Zexion stopped. Someone once told him he was in charge of his own fate… who? The voice rang through his ears, but there was no face. It was… it couldn't be… His mother's voice. He was a child, sitting in his mother's lap as she spoke softly to him. _"You're in charge of your own fate, so that is why… that is why he left. But he'll come back, you know. He loves me… I know he does." _ And she would start to cry, holding him tightly.

But now it wasn't his mother anymore, Demyx was walking next to him down the halls of the school. After saving him the second day, hadn't Demyx also told him the same thing? _"You're in charge of your own fate, you can't let him do things like that…"_

Was Zexion really the one in charge? He looked up at the street sign he was standing next to. The corner of Reno and Rude… How far was the hospital? He remembered, from when his mother was admitted, that it was on Mickey street…

"I'm in charge of my own fate, huh?" He muttered to himself with a smirk as he took off running down Reno drive, "Why don't we test that theory…?"

"Well!" Xigbar said, exiting the movie theater with a grin plastered on his face, "That was rather exciting, don't you think…?"

"I didn't like the ending… too abrupt." Luxord shrugged rather distractedly.

"I wasn't talking about the movie…" Xigbar sighed, pulling out his cell phone to call his mother for a ride. After the movie, Xigbar had promised to come straight to the hospital. Demyx would be able to come home tonight, and he wanted to be there to help his heavily drugged friend out. Maybe it was the guilt of leaving him to see a movie. But then he would look at Luxord or hear his voice and he would remember that OH MY GOD LUXORDLUXORDLUXORDDDDLOVE.

His stupor broken, Luxord hooked his arm around Xigbar's neck. "Neither was I…"

"L-luxord…" Keeping his eyes training on dialing the seven numbers, Xigbar found it hard to conceal his blush. He found it entirely unbearable however, when he felt Luxord's lips against his cheek. "Urk, em, h-hello mom…? Yeah. At the movies. Y… y-yeah… fine. Okaygottagobye." He clacked the phone shut before his mother could ask why he was stuttering and shoved it into his pocket. "Don't do that."

Luxord pulled away with a snort, feeling all but rejected, before noticing something. Several feet away, there was a boy, garbed in a white trench coat. Not that he found trench coats attractive in any way, but he took more interest in the girl he was talking to. Slightly shorter than the boy, she was slender with distinctive silver hair that reminded him of someone. Completely opposite of Zexion, the girl seemed to be telling the boy off. "What are you looking at…?" Xigbar asked, following his gaze in time to see the boy's hand fly across the girl's cheek. She crumpled, grabbing the wall for support. Despite this, she spat on the boy, yelling something.

He was about to attack her again; his fist raised… until a hand grabbed him by the wrist and pulled his hand back to the point where he cried in pain. Having been released, the boy spun around and glared directly at Xigbar.

"What the hell are you looking at?" The surfer scowled darkly.

"I'm just looking at Seifer's next victim!" The boy, apparently known as Seifer, said rather loudly. Was he stupid? Apparently so. His jeans were baggy to the point where he was falling out of them, wearing a wife beater and far too many gold chains.

"Really? Cuz I'm looking at a dumbest whose going to get his ass beat if he doesn't shut it and scram." Xigbar was thoroughly pissed off, cracking his knuckles readily and boring his gaze straight into the gangstah's pea brain.

"Ftt…!" The girl behind Seifer stood and glared at Xigbar for interfering before turning and running. At the same time Seifer lunged at Xigbar, except he was stupid and Xigbar moved out of the way. Therefore, Seifer fell on his wigger ass.

"Hey!" Luxord called from several feet away. "Xigbar, isn't that your ride…?" He saw that it was, and that it had pulled up to the curb. Xigbar jumped and slid over the hood in a motion that was confirmed to be the hottest thing that Luxord had ever seen.

It was raining. Zexion had stopped, three blocks from the hospital, when the downpour started. It wasn't regular rain, oh no, it was the kind of rain that covered everything. The roads were a mass of bland colors and foamy droplets bouncing off every surface. In a few seconds of moving in the rain Zexion would be completely soaked, but luckily there was a rather convenient coffee shop with an awning nearby.

Was this supposed to stop him from going to the hospital? Was it a sign that he shouldn't go? Zexion smirked, stepping out from under the awning. "Sorry… but I'm not in the mood to sit around and wait." His clothing was soaked at this point, the drops gathering and falling in small streams from his hands and head. Pulling the hair from his eye and tucking it behind his ear, he took off running.

It was exhilarating, really. The feeling was intense. He was completely soaked, tired and not even sure of what he was doing. But he felt whole; like… he had something he wanted now. He wasn't really sure what it was, but he was going to the hospital. He was going to see Demyx. He was going to _live_. And for the first time in his life…

He felt like somebody.

He stopped running. The hospital was in front of him, plain as day. It was large, but the entrance was clearly visible. The entrance and parking deck were side-by-side, so patients could get in quickly. In front of the entrance was a drop off area, so patients could get in even quicker. Zexion stopped, holding on to a tree for support, trying to get his breath back. If he wasn't soaked from the rain, he'd probably be soaked in sweat right now.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe Demyx didn't want to see him. Zexion took a step back. He could go home… he could take the money his brother gave him, and go home.

That would be easier.

That would be best.

But is that what Zexion really wanted?

Of course not.

He walked on, stopping at the sidewalk next to the drop off area. The doors were so very close. His eyes scanned the area around him, then he noticed something. The parking deck—on the second floor. Someone was looking down, straight at him. From where he stood, he could see Caucasian skin and filthy blonde hair. Demyx…?

No, it couldn't be… well… could it? Without even thinking, he moved closer towards the person. Demyx seemed to recognize him, the way his eyes followed Zexion. "'EY!" He cried, rather loudly, loud enough for Zexion to hear from the ground level. "I'm… I'M TALKING TO… TO YOU!" Someone appeared next to him. Xigbar?

"No!" Demyx shoved away his friend, gripping the small cement wall tightly. It was short, short enough so that children under seven couldn't walk off. "Z-ZEXION!" He yelled drunkenly, as he was most likely drugged. "What the… the FUCK?" Drugged as he may be, he climbed onto the thin wall that had before held him back. "I'M… I'M TRYING TO… SAVE YOU… DON'T… DON'T FUCKING… FALL…" He was holding onto a pillar for support, ignoring his friend's pleas for help. Luxord seemed to be there too…

"I'LL… fall to.." His voice was quiet now, so Zexion had trouble hearing the last word. But one thing was certain, Demyx was about to jump. He leaned forward slightly, about to let go…

He slipped.

He slipped, and fell backwards. Xigbar grabbed him as he fell out of sight, safely on the floor of the parking deck. He was safe… Zexion looked away. He knew he was being selfish, putting Demyx in danger by trying to decide his own fate. But, even so…

Even so…

Zexion took off running, again. At this point the rain had let up some, but he was completely soaked nevertheless. Wasn't he entitled to a little selfishness? Cold, wet and hungry, he really didn't know.

In the end, it's up to him.

After all, he's in charge of his own fate.


	7. Slide

A/N: Eek. wouldn't let me upload documents anymore, so I'm sorry about not uploading the next three chapters. So here they are. There was a scene here I wanted to add to the lunch scene when I took it down, but I had some school-projects that took priority and thus I ended up not adding it. Basically Luxord spills ranch dip on Zexion's pants and he's like, "wtf that looks wrong" and Demyx is all, "fine pussy, lets just switch pants" so they go to the bathroom and they switch pants. Zexion's all, "ftw erection" and Demyx is like "D:"

Just so you know, that's how I describe future chapters of Grind to my beta. x3

* * *

"There's only one thing we can do now." Demyx was saying rather proudly, during break-time. A ten-minute period in which students were sent to the cafeteria to eat a snack, pee or pretty much whatever they pleased.

"And what's that?" Xigbar asked, munching on salt and vinegar potato chips.

"Well, I'm out of the hospital, you and Luxord are… yeah, so, to celebrate, we must…" Demyx stated, pausing for dramatic effect. "PARTY!"

"That makes no sense." Zexion pointed out, taking a sip of his Pepsi. Demyx, thankfully, had no recollection of the fact he nearly killed himself the previous night. No one really made a note to tell him. They all decided it was best if he didn't know.

"Whatever." Demyx shrugged, "You're coming anyway. Free beer, dude." Zexion didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't drink. "Hey, can I have one of those chips…?" Without waiting for an answer, Demyx took one of the chips from Xigbar and popped it into his mouth. Two seconds later, his face screwed up and he began to cough.

"I didn't know you liked salt and vinegar…"

"_I don't."_ Demyx hissed, grabbing Zexion's Pepsi from his lips and downing the entire can. Despite having wasting 1.50$ on the drink, Zexion couldn't help but crack a smile at his friend's pain. Letting out a loud breath as he slammed the soda can on the table, Demyx wiped his lips on his sleeves. "Oh snap, Zexion! You just smiled!"

"So I did." Zexion flicked the soda can so that it fell over and rolled towards Demyx, "Throw that away. And you owe me a buck."

"Awww, you're so mean, Zexy"

"Yeah, I am, deal with it." By now Mr. Xemnas had appeared at the head of the lunch table and motioned it was time to go back to class. Down the hall, take a left, down another hall, another left, and the first door to your right; Mr Xemnas' classroom.

Unexpectedly, standing beside the door was the Principal. What was Saix doing waiting for someone? Who exactly was he waiting for…? Zexion was the first to the door, not falling behind to talk with the others. Exchanging looks, Saix offered him a simple, "Mr. Mulligan."

"Ah, Mr. Saix, what brings you here…?" Xemnas asked, his voice laced with fake naiveté. Zexion knew damn well why Saix was here, what he wanted and what he was going to do.

"I need to speak to you in my office, Xemnas." Saix had an incredible poker face. It almost made it seem like the two WEREN'T sleeping together. Xemnas nodded slowly, shuffling his students into the classroom.

"Alright, children, I have to step out for a moment. Mr. Vexen is right next door, so try not to tear the place apart…" With a no-hearted wave, he turned and followed Mr. Saix out of the room and down the hall. Instantly the class burst into chatter. Demyx motioned for Zexion to move to the front of the classroom, and he did so.

"So… what'dya think ol' chicken head wants with Mansex?" Demyx asked jokingly. "Prolly gonna finalize that promotion, if ya catch my drift."

"Be realistic." Xigbar snorted, "That kind of thing doesn't actually happen…" Zexion had to resist with every fiber of his being not to laugh and disagree… he was the only person that knew of the teacher and principal's affair.

"I don't know…" Luxord said thoughtfully. The desks were in pairs, and Luxord's desk was in the first row, next to where Demyx sat with Kirux. "Remember, Xigbaw? Mr. Saix passed us in the halls, he was headin to this room."

"Gawsh, don't you guys ever shut up?" Kirux asked rather snobbily from next to Demyx. Ignoring her completely, Demyx continued.

"Anyways," Demyx said, waving the prep off, "Cloud's throwing a huge party tonight. Him and Yazoo are close, so we can probably get in."

"Yazoo?" Zexion asked.

"My brother." Demyx put in with a shrug.

"I didn't know you had any siblings…"

"I have two. Yazoo and Kadaj. They look nothing like me though…" Demyx pulled a pack of gum from his desk and popped one of the small strips into his mouth. "Actually, they look like they could be related to you…" He shrugged, chewing discreetly.

"Snakes on muthahfuckin plane, it's almost time to go…" Xigbar said, looking back at the clock. "What the hell are they doing?" As if on cue, Xemnas entered the room. He seemed the same as he had been when he left. But Zexion knew what he had been doing only minutes before. He knew it now, he watched it then…

"_Fine, we'll do it your way…" Saix hissed darkly, Zexion felt like he was going to vomit. It was one thing to be fucked, you could lose yourself and pretend you're not being blown by a man with about 20 years on you. But to hear others doing it, knowing he was just like Saix is now, a twig in Xemnas' grasp._

_Or was it the other way around? Xemnas was purring, absolutely delighted… in more ways than one, Zexion could guess. Who was pushed against the desk, and who was standing above them, lips trailing down the other's neck? "Saix, this place is so… boorish. Why not continue this in a more… satisfying situation?"_

"_With you on top?" Saix scoffed darkly. So Xemnas was against the desk, Saix pressing his body firmly against the manipulative teacher. "You wanted a fuck and I'm giving it to you." Xemnas didn't answer, just purred louder as Saix's hand's slipped lower…_

Forcing that horrid mental image out of his mind, Zexion pulled a notebook out of his desk and shoved two pens in his pocket—no money for a backpack. "Mister Mulligan, are you ready for today's lesson?" Xemnas was asking.

"I have plans." Zexion murmured softly, unmoving.

"What was that?" Xemnas demanded darkly, slamming his open palm on to the desk. "I am tutoring you—it's not your choice."

"Demyx is tutoring me." Zexion replied, his voice stiff.

"He can't save you." Xemnas hissed lowly.

"No. Only I can do that." Standing up, Zexion joined Demyx and the others at the door. Xemnas stood there, bewildered. He couldn't stop the boy from leaving.

Unless, of course, he were to flunk his class…

----

Zexion hated parties. He hated crowded places, the thick smell of booze and smoke that stuck to practically everything. Most of all, he hated the types that frequent them. One girl in particular was bothering him, grabbing his arm firmly and begging him to dance. Despite the fact that Zexion had seen her kissing Seifer only moments before.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" The girl urged, taking his right elbow in both hands. She was obviously drunk, a whore, or both. His left hand began to twitch terribly, and he finally spoke. Loudly, firmly, and darkly;

"GET. OFF. ME." Taken aback, she stood there dumbfounded as Zexion snatched away his arm and headed outside. Stepping off the porch and leaning his back against the wooden framework of it's side, letting out a soft sigh.

"Getting the booze out of your system?" Zexion looked up, just in time for half the contents of a soda can to be poured into his face. Flailing and splashing in the downpour desperately, he managed to eke out several curses before the empty hand collided with his eye. "Sorry, dude." Demyx said, sitting down next to him. When did he go down the stairs? "I didn't think you'd look up."

"I d-didden have that much to…" Zexion all but zoned out, staring into the glittering night. A moment passed.

"Drink?" Demyx suggested.

"Nono, I already had a… a, uh, bunch." Zexion slurred rather stupidly "No, wait, shit. You did. It was… was it… it was you." Demyx just laughed, patting his blind drunk friend roughly on the shoulder. Zexion, surprised at the action, rolled forward. Demyx caught him and pulled the shorter boy up, leaning Zexion slightly towards him so Zexy wouldn't fall. In short? Zexion's head was perched gracefully on Demyx' shoulder. Would have been awkward if Dem-dem wasn't thinking of it like that and Zexion wasn't wasted.

"You okay? I can drive you home…"

"N-no, man." Zexion's eyes were closed as if he were in deep thought. "I, I love you, man."

"Okay, now you're just being stupid." Demyx rolled his eyes. Despite this, he did feel a little warmth inside. Even a drunkard's love confession gave his ego a slight boost.

"No, no, I like… I hate everyone else."

"I know, Zexion."

"Y'know, I can do shit with m-my tongue…"

"…What the fuck, man?" Demyx gave his friend a push, just enough to get him off Demyx' shoulder. But Zexion was insistent, falling headfirst over Demyx's lap. Of course, he completely missed the boy's crotch and got a mouthful of dandelions, right arm draped over Demyx' left shoulder. Pulling himself up and planting his other arm on Demyx's other shoulder, he looked straight at Demyx.

And kissed him.

At first Demyx was just surprised. He didn't respond to the kiss, or anything for that matter. He pretty much forgot everything, save for the fact that ZEXION WAS FUCKING KISSING HIM. So he sat there, Zexion's lips pressed against his own, completely dumbfounded. But this trace was broken the second Demyx felt the tip of Zexion's tongue brushed past his lips. Shoving him away, Demyx stood and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"Wh-what, man…?" Zexion sputtered, still in his drunken state.

"Wait." Demyx froze as Zexion rolled over and sat up. "You taste like soda." Shifting his far-off gaze to a close-off Zexion he lowered his arm. "You're not drunk at all." Zexion's eyes bulged unnaturally and he quickly turned away, staring at the grass. Tears welled in his eyes. ".,..no…"

"I…"

"DON'T say it!" Demyx warned, backing up.

"…love…"

"SHUT UP!" Demyx screamed, slamming his hands over his ears.

"…you."

Zexion looked up and Demyx in wonder. As if admitting it to himself, suddenly changed everything. It was Demyx' turn to look away.

Demyx ran.

See hearts break

Run, Demyx, run.


	8. Watch closely

A/N: I demand fanart :0

Oh. I might not have mentioned this. But in the Chapter were Zexion visits his brother, it was supposed to be Kadaj, not Loz. The file on my computer says Loz but when the story was up, I had changed it to Kadaj. Since I took it down and forgot, it now says Loz. And I'm a lazy motherfucker, so I'm not changing it.

* * *

"Demyx, wait!" Zexion didn't know what spurred his outburst. Quite so, he was all for wallowing in his misery. But his subconscious had other plans as it forced him to stand, yell and follow the blonde. Demyx was walking down the sidewalk, leaving the boy behind. Grabbing his shoulder, Zexion skidded to a stop, gasping for breath. "D-demyx… please…"

"Get _off_ me, fag." Demyx scowled, throwing the younger boy's hand off his shoulder and continuing his pace. Zexion all but collapsed on the concrete, shivering in the sudden cold.

"No… no, L-loz… please… Mother…" Demyx stopped and turned to Zexion. The boy's eyes were wide, curled into a ball and shivering like mad. Despite how much he wanted to leave, Demyx walked to the boys side and pulled him into a sitting position. Extending his sleeve to wipe away Zexion's tears, the younger boy gripping his wrist firmly in place. A moment passed, and the younger finally spoke. "I never knew my father." He whispered, his voice hoarse. "Mom never got married, he left when I was very young. Kadaj always took care of me. He did a lot of bad things, but I was the only one who knew. He trusted me with everything."

"You don't have to talk…"

"I think I let him down." Zexion released his friend's hand. "Mom killed herself, because she found out about the bad things. I hated him. But… he always wanted what was best for me. He really did love me, and in the end he didn't know how. It's strange, isn't it?" Zexion looked up with an expression Demyx couldn't place. Tears stung the boy's eyes still. "That this all occurs to me now. I don't know why."

"You're hurt, is all…"

"I suppose so." Zexion turned away to face the road. "I guess I deserve it."

"Wha…?"

"Don't you see? He was right all along." Zexion turned back to his friend, eyes wide with an insane grin. "I'm _nothing_. I'm _dirty_." He paused and stood, extending his arms for emphasis. "He always told me that, and I told myself it was a lie."

"Who told you that? What are you talking about?"

"I'm _broken_, don't you see? That's what hurts the most. I want everything, but nothing wants me. Garbage. Trash. Useless. My very existence is a sin!"

"Stop saying that!" Standing up, Demyx grabbed the other's shoulders firmly. Zexion's smile faded to what looked more like psychopathic fear.

"No, no, no!" Zexion fell to his knees, palms slammed over his ears and head shaking wildly. "Stop leading me on! Just stay away! I'm filth! Filth! Filth! Trash! Garbage! I hate you! I hate you!" He was screaming now, completely hysterical. He stopped fully when he felt something, Demyx kneeling, Demyx wrapping his arms around Zexion. Demyx holding him, Zexion sobbing pathetically.

Close your eyes as tight as you want.

Nothing will change.

"I'll take you home." Demyx offered.

"Fine." Zexion answered, sullen. He stood up, eyes closed, and tilted his head back as if bathing in the moonlight. "Corner of Reno and Elena."

"That's not too far away."

"Mmmhmm."

"…You're not even trying." Demyx gave his friend a playful nudge.

"No, I suppose I'm not."

(Fast forward to the house cuz I'm a lazy mofo)

"Damnit, it's too freaking muggy out here." Demyx moaned, grabbing the handrail of a stoop for support. "And I gotta pee."

"This place smells bad enough without you pissing yourself. Come in." Zexion opened the door to the beat-down building. Passing the 'lounge', he made his way up the stairs to his room. Demyx followed. "My room is number 12. Bathroom just down the hall." Unlocking the door rather ruthlessly, Zexion sauntered inside, leaving the door slightly ajar. Demyx looked down the hall to see where a door had been taken off the hinges, and a filthy bathroom open to anyone. He decided to hold it, and entered room 12.

"This place is a dump." Demyx pointed out as Zexion flopped onto the mostly intact couch. "Where's the light switch?"

"Don't have electricity. Or water, or heat. Cold? Fucking deal with it."

"What crawled up your ass and made you a total dick head?" Demyx asked sarcastically, sitting himself down on the floor near the couch. In the dark, which he was getting used to, Demyx could see Zexion's head turn towards him and watch him for a moment. "…what?"

"Why are you here?" Zexion asked. "If you hate me, leave. If you love me, kiss me-" Demyx winced at that "-I'm tired of being jerked around."

"There's more to life then love and hate."

"I don't want there to be."

"Tough luck."

"Kiss me."

The sudden order made Demyx fall over, his face a deep red. "What are you talking about?" He asked, pushing himself back into a sitting position. Zexion did the same, and slid onto the ground.

"Please. Just once. I'll never bother you again. I promise… just once." Zexion was blushing too, and could feel tears threatening to fall. But he had to do this, he may never get another chance. He knew damn well Demyx was going to leave—so might as well make the most of this pity-visit.

Demyx squirmed uncomfortably. It was one thing to be forcibly kissed by a supposedly drunken friend, but willingly by a sober somewhat sane admirer… this was getting awkward. But Zexion was watching him in the dark, looking at the bloodstained carpet. "Just… Just make it quick—"

Before the sentence was finished, Zexion had crawled to his side and planted his lips against Demyx'. Just like before, Demyx was stunned. Even when he knew it was coming, it didn't take the shock away. He was even more shocked to find himself responding to the kiss, urging the other boy on. Demyx had been kissed by girls before, at one point he was even dared to kiss Xigbar. It was a fairly traumatizing experience, what with Xigbar using his tongue and all. But this was different. He felt Zexion begin to pull away, and suddenly remembered that he shouldn't be so willing. Pushing firmly away from him, Demyx failed at trying to conceal his blush.

"I-I should… go…" Demyx stood and headed for the door.

"Wait!" Zexion cried, running on his knees to Demyx' side and grabbing his wrist with both hands, giving him an almost puppy-dog look. "Demyx, I want… will you be my boy… friend?" Demyx froze. He looked down at the other boy.

"…Get off me."

---

Pain screeched through his mind as Zexion was pushed onto the ground, a foot resting heavily on his stomach. Slowly, the foot pressed harder until the boy cried out, at which ime Xemnas lowered himself to clamp his hand over Zexion's mouth, fingernails digging harshly into the younger's skin. "Don't scream, as if you don't _deserve_ every blow, filth."

Zexion didn't flinch, he didn't move. This time, tears did not come. Somehow, he couldn't cry. Maybe he had come to terms with it. Maybe he was just all cried out.

"If I'm such filth…" Zexion croaked softly, "Why do you seem to need me so?"

Xemnas looked taken aback. "What are you saying. You want to be alone?!" He spat darkly, straddling Zexion's stomach.

"I'm." Zexion growled, pulling away from under Xemnas, causing him to fall on his ass. "_not_." He stood. "Alone…" His resolve was fading fast. Xemnas blinked and stood, brushing dirt off his pants. He rested his hand on the desk, on a ruler.

"Do not think everyone stands still while you moves, just because you can't see their lives, does not mean it's not real." Xemnas recited slowly, drawling every word for dramatic effect. "But, my dear Zexion…" He slipped away from the desk, ruler in hand, and came in front of Zexion. His free hand trailed through the boy's silver hair. "YOU are not included!" With that the ruler that thrust upwards, the metal edge cutting Zexion across the cheek. It fell to the ground with a clatter, and Zexion followed. He was squatting, shakily looking at the blood dripping onto his open palm.

Zexion's breath hitched.

Someone was screaming.

Zexion wasn't sure, but he thinks it was him.

There was a lot of noise. Something crashed, banged and wooshed. Someone was yelling. Xemnas was talking. Someone touched his shoulder. Zexion winced and curled up into the fetal position, tears trailing down his cheeks. "—okay?" Someone said, wait… Demyx? Zexion's head sprang up, in more ways then one. "Zexion? Did you hear me?"

"Wh-what happened…?"

"I heard you scream… I busted the door open…" Zexion blinked. What? Looking around, he saw Xemnas in the corner, inspecting a broken chair.

"There will be repercussions for your act, Mr-"

"DON'T feed me that crap!" Demyx yelled, letting go of Zexion and standing. "I know you've been touching him! I'll tell everyo-"

"Excuse me." It was in that moment, that the worst possible scenario had come to pass.

Mr. Saix stepped slowly into the room.

"Now what is going on here…?"

"This man—" Demyx cried, thrusting a finger in Xemnas' direction.

"I was in private tutoring session with Mr. Mulligan, when this… this, hooligan broke the door!" Xemnas huffed, standing up straight.

"Then explain why Zexion is bleeding!" Demyx yelled, helping Zexion stand. The younger boy was clutching his head, eyes wide and blood dripping slowly down his cheek. Between his fear of blood and the fact that Demyx was holding him, the boy's brain went melty like a smoothie on the sidewalk in June. Both adults looked over at Zexion.

Mr. Saix' eyes closed. He sighed, and stepped forward. "This is a very problematic situation. Our school's reputation is in the hands of this secret not leaving this room… if you understand."

"You're telling us to keep our mouths shut." Demyx spat. "Why should we?!"

"I am prepared to offer you-"

"You're gonna bribe us?" Demyx was still holding Zexion, right hand strewn across his shoulder and left hand touching his chest.

"It's simply an agreement in which both parties get what they want." Mr. Saix had a serious poker-face that made kids want to do what he said. A lot of them were afraid they'd set his emotion meter to it's only other setting—ANGRY. You don't like him when he's angry. He turns green and muscular and is nekkid save for shorts… okay, that was a lie. But he gets pretty scary. He just turns into Sailor Moon. A miniskirt and everything.

"Fine." Demyx scowled. "I don't want any responsibility for the door." Mr. Saix nodded. "And I want Demyx to pass this class." Xemnas looked up with wild eyes. Zexion looked up with his dazed ones—both staring at Demyx.

"Well!" Mr. Saix said with fake enthusiasm, clapping his hands together. "I'm glad to see your tutoring session is over. Too bad about the door, don't worry about it. Accidents happen. Best be on your way."

Demyx nodded, pulling away from Zexion and motioned to the boy to follow him. He did so, and Demyx picked his skateboard and book bag from the wall opposite of the classroom. Once around the corner, Demyx slowed slightly. Instead of passing him, Zexion slowed further. Demyx sighed, his plan failed, and turned around to face the younger boy.

"Zexion."

The boy winced.

Demyx sighed.

"I have a proposition for you."

"What?"

"I am free this Saturday. I'm allowing you to take me to the movies. Like, a… a… you know." Demyx squirmed uncomfortably. "Like… more than… friends." Shoving his hands in his pockets, Demyx ducked his head, a light blush gracing his cheeks. Zexion stopped walking.

"…R-really…?"

"Unless you don't want to…" Demyx started walking again, slightly faster than before.

"Nonono!" Zexion cried, staring out again and grabbing Demyx' shoulder. "I-I do, want to… take you out. And stuff…"

"Then it's a date."

* * *

A/N: We have a problem.

_I can't find Chapter nine._ As in like. It's lost. I don't have a copy of it to post. As in I can't post it because I don't have it. As. I might have to fucking rewrite it. In anyone happened to have saved it before the story was taken down PLEASE OHMAIGAWD PLEASE tell me.

Just know that **until it's sent or I rewrite it(which will take a while) chapter 10 and 11 can't be posted.**


	9. Eye of the storm

A/N: Attention everyone. Insane Pyro is better than you. This chapter wouldn't be here if she hadn't saved it and sent it to me therefore I decree that you will now go give her candy and love. kthnx.

---

"Um." Zexion's face seemed almost caked in a constant blush. He wore clothes similar to the ragged ones he wore, but these jeans only had two rips in them. His shirt was plaid blouse-type thing. Only not. The writer doesn't know much about clothing, other than skirts and pants are different. One hand was jammed into a pocket, the other holding a red box... oh god. Demyx all but shoved him out the doorway and slammed the door behind him, tuning out Yazoo's snickers from inside the house. Zexion was holding a heart shaped box of chocolates.

"Let's just go, okay!" Demyx demanded, leading Zexion by the wrist to the younger boy's shoddy pickup truck, leaving the box dejected on the stoop. The door opened and Yazoo leaned down, picking it up. He waved it in Demyx' direction, laughing under his breath, before pulling back inside, popping one of the small chocolates in his mouth. Zexion only sighed and slid into the driver's seat. He got what he wanted, didn't he? A date with Demyx. He even splurged(1) on the chocolates--but no. Shifting into first gear, Zexion could only spare a glance at Demyx.

"...Sorry." He said softly.

"It's fine. Your friend owes me five fifty." Zexion replied a smile, then spoke again. "No, really."

"That's my brother." Demyx said. "Not sure I'll really want to face him after this..."

Zexion's nose twitched. By now they were heading down the road, Zexion's hands resting on the gearshift. "Because this is something to be ashamed of?" He asked sourly, turning a corner. "You're the one that wanted to do this..." Demyx didn't answer. Tonight wasn't going to go well, Zexion thought. This HAD to go well.

Fifteen minutes had gone by without a word, and Zexion pulled in to the parking lot of the McGeneric Movie Theater. Zexion waited as Demyx took his time climbing out of the truck and stopped at the younger boy's side. "...D-demyx?" Zexion asked softly. Demyx looked up and blinked. "Can... Can I hold your hand...?" Demyx blinked again and reached out his hand, which Zexion took quickly and pulled him towards the theater. Following in the other's pace, Demyx sped up slightly.

"Dude..." Demyx coughed. "Is that Mr. Vexen...?" With his free hand, Demyx pointed to where indeed the science teacher was standing buying a ticket with possibly the ugliest woman ever by his side. "Wait a second... is that... Mr. Xaldin!" Zexion broke out into snickers which he quickly stifled with the hand Demyx was holding the moment before. "I... I think it is." It most definitely was the PE teacher, in a miniskirt and sleeveless shirt with belly exposed. To make matters worse, it was pink. The least he could have done was shaved his arms and legs before pretending to be a . And- this was the best part- did he just stick TOILET PAPER ROLLS to make breasts? They looked rather square from where our little couple were standing, and they remained frozen to the spot until the two teachers entered the theater.

"L-lets... just go..." Demyx whispered, almost frightenedly.

"...Yeah. What movie are we seeing, anyways?"

"Rent. I heard it was good." Demyx took Zexion's hand again and led him up to the ticket booth. A boy stood behind it, he looked a year younger than Zexion.

"Two for Rent, please..." He reached into his pocket, but Zexion had already handed the boy a small wad of bills.

"I was gonna..."

"I'm taking you out, remember?" Zexion said, giving him the merest glance and squeezing his hand for a half-second.

"'Ey, man, have a good time!" The tanned boy said, handing two small tickets to them. Zexion took then shoved them into his jeans pocket, turning to Demyx. The skater lets go and opens to door, passing through but holding it open with one hand. Zexion passes through the doorway, on the lookout for the two teachers.

"You think they're dating?" He asked, not seeing them.

"I don't doubt it. The entire school staff is gay, apparently." Demyx released a laugh at that, and Zexion smirked to himself. "We're in theater five. C'mon..." Zexion shrugged and followed the skater, a giddy feeling rising in his chest. The date wasn't going badly at all... well, the movie hasn't started yet. Still. It wasn't going horribly, which means it wasn't going bad. Which leaves good, which was how it was going. Follow?

"What's this movie about?" Zexion asked, speeding up a bit.

"I dunno, but Xigbar said it had like... a transvestite in it. It has to be good..."

Of course, the transvestite in the movie was no bother. It was the transvestite three rows ahead of the two that bothered them--especially since it was their PE teacher. Zexion wasn't even paying attention to the movie, he couldn't stop staring at Mr. Xalin's sideburns. Demyx was trying to ignore them, but it was increasingly hard as Mr. Vexen leaned over and began to press his lips against Xaldin's neck. Moments passed and Xaldin slid out of his seat... onto the floor of the theater, Vexen following. Some of their dialogue drifted up to the two, and Demyx distinctly heard; "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the crumbs..."

"Okay, this is ridiculus..." Demyx stood, "We're leaving."

"Um. But Demyx, you promised me we could go on a date..." Zexion hugging Demyx' arm to keep him still.

"We still can... just... not here..." Zexion sighed and let go, standing. Demyx flashed him a smile as the two wormed their ways out of the theater, and into the cold night. Checking his watch, it was about 8-something. He was supposed to be home by midnight. Zexion stood there awkwardly, whilst Demyx set out on the sidewalk. "C'mon, Zexion, lets go to the park..."

The park wasn't as creepy as one might think it'd be, there were pathways and streetlights strewn all over the place. In a particularly deserted corner of thepark, Demyx collapsed on a bench. Zexion sat on the concrete, because Demyx was taking up the entire bench. "Why am I so tired?" He muttered to no one in particular. Turning his head, he looked over at Zexion and noticed the younger boy was staring at him.

"D-Demyx..." Zexion scooted to the side of the bench, running a bony finger along the skater's cheek. Demyx was all but used to it by now, and didn't move as the cold hands touching his skin. He only sat up, out of Zexion's reach, who responded with a pout. He stood up and sat next to Demyx, mulling over the height difference in his mind. "Um. Demyx...?"

"What?" Demyx turning his head with slight annoyance, only slightly shocked when he felt Zexion's lips press against his own. This too, he had grown accustomed to. But it still unnerved him how much his body responded to Zexion's advance. Of course, he was NOT used to feeling Zexion's hand slip down and rest on the skater's crotch... Pushing Zexion away, and almost off the bench he all but growled at him, "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I... I... D-demyx..." Zexion visibly winced. "I was only trying to..."

"Trying to what? Feel me up? What the hell, Zexion?" Demyx stood and turned, beginning to walk away.

"Wait!" Zexion stood and took a step, "You promised..."

"I promised a date!" Demyx spat, turning his head and glaring. "I never said you could do -that-!" He turned the corner and was gone, Zexion couldn't say anything. Did he just... loose everything...? Demyx was gone. And all because he couldn't control a little urge! Well... it wasn't exactly a little urge... He could only cough in a lame attempt to distract himself from the throbbing between his legs--He could barely stand it anymore. Slinking miserably behind the bench he unzipped his pants and... releived himself.

---

Pulled his knees to his chest, he wondered just what just happened. He did something bad again, he knew it. But whenever he was around Demyx, he felt so... real. He felt like he had meaning, like he mattered more than anyone else in the world. All Zexion wanted was to make Demyx feel just as special... perhaps he had gone around it the wrong way... Hell, he knew he did. Standing up, he zipped up his pants and began to walk towards where Demyx had gone.

Surprisingly enough, Demyx was sitting on the concrete just past the corner. "...Demyx...?"

"You were supposed to follow me." Demyx whispered softly, mostly to himself. "You were supposed to care enough..."

"Demyx..." Zexion said nothing for a while, finally sitting down next to the skater and wrapping his arms around his neck, burying his face into his collarbone. "I do care, Demyx..."

"But you had something you had to... take care of?" Zexion twitched. Demyx knew what he had done...? Shivering slightly, Zexion shifted so his cheek was against Demyx's neck, and spoke.

"I'm sorry. I was just... I couldn't... um. You know...? Heh..." He snorted softly.

"Hum." Demyx said simply, not responding to Zexion's embrace. Pouting slightly, Zexion reached over Demyx' shoulder and with his index finger, hooked the edge of Demyx' mouth and pulled it upwards in to a fake smile.

"My name is Demyx!" Zexion said in a high voice, pulling Demyx' mouth up and down so it looks sort of like he was talking. "I don't forgive people even when they're really, really sorry and love me! Oh-ho-ho-ho!"

Demyx broke into a laugh and leaned forward, and Zexion wiped the boy's saliva on his pants. "Sick. You jacked off with that hand..."

"Can you taste it?"

"..." Demyx coughed, then stood up. "WELL. I think the movie is over by now, don't you?" He brushed his pants off, which weren't really dirty, and took several steps forward. "We've got an hour or so before I have to be home... What do you wanna do?" Zexion stood up and pressing his body against Demyx' back, his right hand softly stroking the skater's face.

"For the record, I used this hand."

"...Take me home."

---

In afternotes;

(1): _not that kind of splurge._


	10. Tear down the walls

A/N: ADAlasffdufnasf, I hate the first half of this one, oh my god. I wasn't sure exactly how the scene would play out in reality, so... yeah. I'm talking about the part when they're at school by the way. I like the very beginning. :3 Angst is _delishiouse_.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to be so cold.

It was summer, for god's sake!

Then why, why was Zexion so cold?

It was a cold that started in his spine, slowly, slowly slithering eerily along his bones and turning his skin to ice. He shivered, running his fingers down his arms furiously, but it did nothing.

"What?"

"Take me home." Demyx mumbled lamely, stumbling back a step. His eyes, half-closed, watching the pavement.

"Why?"

Demyx stepped back, leaning on the streetlamp. His eyes were fully closed now, head tilted to the sky. "I-I can't do this anymore. I just… I can't." A choked sob broke through his facade, and he attempted unsuccessfully to disguise it as a cough. As soon as this was done, another sob followed, and another. His cheeks were red and glistening with tears.

"I hope you're having fun." Zexion's hands balled into fists, eyes squeezed shut and head hung low. "Toying with me like this."

"No-!" Demyx cried, unable to find the words. "…no…"

"What's your angle, then? Just fucking with me for the hell of it?"

"No, I just… I wanted to make you happy."

"By pretending I meant something? Making me think I mean something only to tell me it was all just make-believe?!" Zexion's head shot up, sporting tears to match Demyx's.

"When I got you away from Xemnas, I thought you would be happy." Demyx's palm crushed into his eye, attempting to wipe away tears of hopelessness. "But you weren't. I wanted… I wanted to be able to make you happy."

"But you got in over your head." Zexion said, no longer in hysterics. His voice was monotone, his head hung once more. "You were afraid of taking it too far." He lifted his head and blinked, the tears had stopped. "You completely ignored what I wanted and pretended you knew what was going on, pretended you knew what could make me happy to clear your own conscience and in the end you couldn't finish what you started!"

Demyx's vision was blurred with tears and confusion and too many emotions that he as a male wanted to come in contact with. Zexion turned around. "Goodbye." He whispered hands stuffed in pockets.

Only twenty minutes ago, Zexion felt warm and alive.

Then why now, did he feel so cold and empty?

---

Zexion was so out of it, he barely heard the banging against the door. Part of him wished it was Demyx, and another part berated the other part for wishing that, a third wondering what feeling he still had for the skater, and a fourth confused and a fifth just for the hell of it. The handle turned and Zexion really didn't care who it was, only slightly surprised when a carpet wearing a police uniform walked into the room. He hadn't drank that much, had he…? Apparently so, 'cause the carpet was talking now.

"Are you Zexion Gainsborough?"

What…?

Who is that…?

"S'me…" He said, answering his own question. That's right. That was his real name, before he changed it. After his mother died, after his brother left his life, he wanted to leave too. He left behind whatever remained and changed his name to Mulligan, after a bar that burned down the day his mother died. He wanted to start anew, like the bar, the owners relocated out of town.

"Your father has been looking for you…"

Zexion sprang up, stumbled back, regained his balance and looked at the carpet person thing with astonishment that quickly faded into nausea. He leaned forward, releasing several bottles of alcohol onto the floor of his already filthy apartment. The magical carpet didn't say anything, simply grabbed Zexion's shoulder with a tassel and pulled him out the door.

---

The final exam. It counted for a quarter of your final grade, and for most, it meant pass or fail. Zexion had nothing to worry about, he just had to show up and mark on the paper and he'd pass, thanks to the power of blackmail. All he had to do was show up, and Zexion couldn't even manage that. Demyx was at wit's end, just short of tearing his hair out. Mr. Xemnas was going over procedures, don't cheat, blahdy blahdy blah. Zexion wasn't there. The test would start in five minutes. Demyx raised his hand. "When we finish the test, are we allowed to leave?" Mr. Saix was sitting in a chair next to the blackboard, watching the class.

"Technically, completion of this test means that you are finished with Summer School." He answered coolly.

"I'll be back." Demyx said, standing up and making his way to the door.

"Where are you going?!" Mr. Saix demanded.

"Shaddap." Demyx snorted, "I'll be back in time to finish the test."

Xigbar gave him a look and Demyx simply shrugged it away, his friend standing and following him. In turn, the surfer looked back at Luxord and the brit stood and scooted to Xigbar's side. Before they could motion to anyone else, Demyx grabbed them both by the wrists and led them from the room. Saix stood and left the room. Xemnas stood, almost timidly at the head of the class for a moment before diving headfirst on the bandwagon and following his principal. Kirux was the first to speak. "PARTY!"

"Where exactly are we going and why?" Xigbar asked.

"To find Zexion."

"I figured he wos sick today…" Luxord said, walking quicker to keep pace with his friends. "But that would mean he would… fail, right?"

"Last night-" Demyx stopped walking. "Last night we talked, and I think I… made him mad." He said, delicately. Xigbar and Luxord didn't exactly know that the two went out. Though technically, it wasn't a date. Technically.

"MISTER Bullet! MISTER Cromwell-!" Mr. Saix stopped abruptly. Luxord was the only one to turn and look, idly he did, and did a double take. Mr. Saix was there, standing sideways, his head turned back to Mr. Xemnas, who was holding on to his wrist. He appeared to be whispering something, that the brit couldn't make out.

"You still haven't told me…" 

Luxord shivered and turned his head, stride turning into a run to keep up with the other two.

"How you're going to fix it…" 

"Where the hell do you think he is, anyways? You have no idea." Xigbar scoffed, grabbing Demyx by the shoulder and turning him around. "What the hell's gotten into you? Ever since we started hanging out with Zexion you've been all weird. You're changing."

"I'm not!" Demyx said, brushing his friend's hand off. "I haven't changed at all."

"You have." Xigbar said, almost miserably. "You're an entirely different person."

"Look." Demyx grunted, shoving open the double doors and pulling his friend into the early august day. "I don't give a damn. All I know is that I did something I know wont be forgiven and if we don't find Zexion then he'll fail. _He'll be in Xemnas class for another year_, Xigbar. I wont let that happen."

"_How you're going to fix me."_

"We can take mai car." Luxord said. He didn't know what was so horribly urgent about now being in Xemnas' class again, but it sounded pretty important and serious. He pulled the keys from his pocket and led the two around the corner to the parking lot, stopping at a grey four door. "S'my parents really, but you know wot I mean…"

"**I'm** sitting up front." Xigbar grunted, shoving his friend out of the way. "After all-"

"Yeah, yeah. I got enough of that from Zexi-" Demyx froze, realizing what he was about to say. _I got enough of that from Zexion._ The other two were staring at him. "H-he's really fruity…" He choked out a bitter laugh. "He was depressed, so I took him to see a movie…" He stopped, seeing a sly smile form on Xigbar's face. "It's not like that!" Demyx cried in protest, but his friend was already laughing. It totally was anyways.

"Monkey see, monkey do." Xigbar said with a laugh, opening the car door fully and sitting inside. He glancing up at Demyx and then, "Oh Luxord, we've trained him so well."

"Shut it!" Demyx growled, slamming the door firmly. "Just drive. East Reno Street, that's his apartment."

"You would know!"

"SHUT UP."

"He's not here…" Demyx sighed, looking in on one of the filthiest, shabbiest apartments he'd ever seen. He had no idea where else to look. They _were_ no other places Zexion went. Demyx realized just how little he knew about the younger man. Exactly how much did Zexion know about Demyx, anyways? Sighing under his breath, he entered the small apartment. There may have been a bed at one point, but it had long since been burned for warmth. In fact, one of the arms of the couch was missing, the only thing left of it was ashes in a tin. A pool of vomit lie reeking next to the tin, small blots of it leading out of the room and stopping at the doorway. Zexion left. But when, and to go where?

"This place smells. Like. Really bad." Xigbar said, one hand resting on the doorframe. "He's not here, so can we leave?"

"We need clues as to where he might be." Demyx answered, poking a mostly empty bottle of beer lying on its side, contents partially on the floor. He felt sick, from the smell and knowing it was him who caused Zexion to drink so much. Zexion had vomited and them dragged himself to the door, obviously drunk. But when did he do this? Where did he go?

"We're going nowhere." Demyx announced. Luxord was standing against the wall, avoiding touching anything. Xigbar laughed.

"Tissues in the trash." He said evilly, looking over to Demyx.

"Yeah, so?"

"Guess what's on them."

"…We're leaving."

"What's on them, Xiggy?" Luxord asked, smirking. He knew damn well what Zexion did with those tissues. More picking on the questionably straight guy.

"It looks to me like—"

"GOODBYE." Demyx yelped, leaving the room rather quickly.

"Who tha' hell is makin' all this racket?!" Demanded someone in the absolute highest voice Demyx had ever heard. He turned to see the biggest slut girl he had ever seen. Her clothes were tiny, all the fabric put together would hardly made a tank-top to cover her small chest. Despite this, she continued to stare at them as if they were total freaks.

"I'm looking for my friend, he lives here." Demyx said, tempted to scoop up that vomit and throw it on her, she was that obnoxious.

"You mean that freaky kid?" She demanded.

"That's my friend you're talking about." Demyx pointed out.

"Calm the fuck down!" She cried loudly, giving him a weird look. "You mean that kid, Zeblin or whatever? Don't bother. The police can over here last night and like, took him."

"What? Why? The police? I don't understand…"

"He was real smashed too," There was a hint of glee in her voice at this prospect, "He was talkin' 'bout carpet and some shit." At this point, Xigbar and Luxord had both left the room and were listening. "He's a weird kid, though. I offered to y'know… _make him feel better_, and he just walked away! Like, aren't I hot? Because like, otherwise, how else could he have resisted me? I mean like, there was this guy, and he was all 'I'm gay.' And I was like, 'It's only like, fifteen dollars!' so he let me do it and he said it was really good even if he was gay so maybe gay people aren't really gay but-"

"WELL, we have to get going." Demyx said loudly. The girl scoffed angrily, then dug into her pocket and pulled out some paper.

"You're cute though, so like, here's my number!" She shoved the paper at Demyx and giggled madly. The skater, dumbfounded, took the paper and she all but skipped off down the hall. A moment passed.

"'_Maybe gay people aren't gay'_?!" Xigbar repeated what the girl had said moments earlier. Luxord laughed and patted Demyx on the shoulder.

"Congrats, chappie! You got a whore discount!" He said with a laugh.

"A whore discount?"

"That one'll give you a discount if she thinks ya' cute." Luxord explained.

"…How do you know this…?" Xigbar asked, looking sideways at his boyfriend.

A moment passed

A very awkward moment.

"The police station." Demyx said finally, shaking his head somewhat. "Is halfway across town. The test ends in four hours." His voice had an air of finality, and several seconds passed before anyone spoke up. Finally, Xigbar broke the silence;

"Are you really going to risk it…?"

"Yes." Demyx said firmly. Maybe he had changed. At this point, he really didn't care who he was anymore. "We are."

And somewhere, somehow, Zexion wasn't so cold anymore.


End file.
